Calling all scientists

Can you please cast your eyes over this (173KB pdf) and give me a sanity check? To whatever level you can: if you understand the material and can critique it on that level, great, but if all you can do is check that I haven't absent-mindedly written "I am a fish" 500 times or left a "fill this bit in later" somewhere then that's wonderful.

If you're not sure whether this applies to you, it does.

Thanks!