Nothing says "unprofessional job" like wrinkes in duct tape

[pozorvlak]

[mrpjantarctica is entirely to blame for this idea. My contribution was to recognise that the world market for it might be more than five. It's all about the marketing.]

Is there someone in your life whose boundless enthusiasm for fixing everything around them is matched only by their limited repertoire of skills and tools? The kind of person whose house is held together by string and cable ties, who believes there's nothing on God's earth that duct tape can't fix?

Stuck for something to buy them for Christmas?

Then get them the Bodger's Home Companion!

Contents:

• One large roll of gaffer tape. Obviously.
• A can of WD-40.
• A job lot of rubber bands, cable ties and Jubilee clips, in a variety of sizes.
• A not-terribly-good multitool. I'm thinking one of these.
• A ball of string.
• A tube of epoxy resin.
• A short book, "101 Great [insert nationality here]¹ Bodges", containing instructions for a wide variety of half-arsed home and automotive repairs.

The de luxe version would also contain self-amalgamating tape and heatshrink sleeving, and possibly a soldering iron.

What have I forgotten?

A great advantage of the BHC over other novelty Christmas gift items is that it really doesn't matter if you get given three of them, there being no such thing as too much gaffer tape.

¹ Possibly some slight adjustments would be needed for different markets, but I reckon you could get a long way just by changing the title. I'm thinking of something more useful and less stupid than the output of the Duct Tape Guys. We would, of course, need a fearsomely comprehensive disclaimer of liability.

Comments

[figg.livejournal.com]

Some electrictians tape too

[pozorvlak.livejournal.com]

In two or three randomly-chosen colours, so if you get given multiple sets you'll probably get a different colour of LX tape. I like it.

[figg.livejournal.com]

that hammer tool is fantastic.

perhaps you need to complement it with one of those cheap packets of tiny screwdrivers.

[pozorvlak.livejournal.com]

Isn't it? :-)

Yes, you'd definitely need at least a slotted and Philip's screwdriver in there. The other classic bodger's tool is of course the Mole wrench (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_wrench), which can be used as a hammer in extremis.

[half-of-monty.livejournal.com]

I want one!

[neoanjou.livejournal.com]

A glue-gun in the delux version? I have yet to see a decent use for one, but the presence of large trails of partially see-though gunk are a feature of my childhood.

[susannahf.livejournal.com]

for true bodging, the cable ties should be the non-releasable kind, and the tools should be incapable of cutting through them without damaging surrounding objects

[pozorvlak.livejournal.com]

There exist releasable cable ties? Dude. I think we may be playing with forces more powerful than Man was meant to handle here.

[michaelp-j (from livejournal.com)]

All cable ties are releasable if you have a little weeny screwdriver, but yes, some of them are designed to be released. Unfortunately, there's always someone like you who just cuts them without checking to see if they are the releasable kind...

[bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com]

drinking straws.

[bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com]

oh, and paper clips.

[pozorvlak.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the paper clips, but what would you use the drinking straws for?

[bronxelf-ag001.livejournal.com]

Are you kidding? I always need drinking straws in bodged shit. You need a flexible tube.